Experiencing Sexual Challenges Is More Common Than We May Realize

Although we often think we must be one of the rare few to experience sexual dissatisfaction or dysfunction, it’s pretty commonplace. Statistics gathered by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have determined that “Sexual arousal disorders, including Erectile Dysfunction (ED) in men and female sexual arousal disorder in women, are found in 10-20 percent of the population.” [1] 

The underlying causes that impede sexual response are often complex and varied. The expression of our sexuality is influenced by every aspect of who we are, from our physiology to our emotions, beliefs, past experiences, and relationships. Any disruption we encounter—whether physical or emotional—can impact our level of desire, arousal, or satisfaction. 

The External Influences We Are Exposed To Can Impact How We Feel About Sex

Not only is sex a highly personalized experience based on unique circumstances but external cultural norms often influence our feelings about it as well. Stigma and shame surrounding sexual expression may have been passed down to us via our families or communities that interfere with our perception. What’s more, the unrealistic imagery portrayed in pop culture and social media often causes us to have unrealistic expectations about sex or make unhealthy comparisons that leave us feeling inadequate.

As “sex-positive” as today’s culture claims to be, there are pockets of society that are still woefully behind in instilling a healthy viewpoint, especially in our youth. For example, a lack of comprehensive sex education in our schools that omits any discussion of consent leaves future generations unprepared to avoid the circumstances that often lead to sexual trauma. 

Rather than allowing shame, embarrassment, or a fear of judgment to prevent you from getting the support you need, you should consider the benefits of sex therapy. Partnering with a sex therapist offers you expertise, education, and tailored strategies to address your challenges effectively.

But Maybe You’re Not Sure If Sex Therapy Is Right For You…

Can sexuality counseling help us if we each have different sex drives? 

Although mismatched sexual desire with your partner may seem like an insurmountable issue, it’s not. In integrative couples and sex therapy, we will discuss healthy ways you can reach a compromise that feels good to both of you based on what you’re willing to give and receive. However, the sooner you come to sex therapy to address your concerns, the more likely it is you can avoid any pent-up anger, resentment, or shame complicating the matter. 

The idea of going to sexual counseling is embarrassing.

Understandably, the stigmas surrounding sex or concerns about being judged may give you pause to seek therapy. However, it's important to know that getting support when needed is a courageous and responsible step towards improving your well-being. In sex therapy, you will be met with empathy, understanding, and a nonjudgmental approach. Your therapist is there to provide support and guidance without judgment and anything discussed in sessions will remain confidential.

Is it worth attending sexual intimacy counseling if my partner doesn’t want to come? 

While partner participation can be beneficial, it is not always necessary for sex therapy to be successful. Individual counseling and treatment can address personal concerns—such as sexual trauma, female orgasmic disorder treatment, vaginismusor erectile dysfunction— and provide valuable insights and strategies. What’s more, your therapist can work with you to explore ways to communicate your desires for counseling with your partner. Ultimately, the goal is to support you in your journey towards sexual well-being, regardless of your partner's participation.