Sex Therapy
Wishing You Could Rekindle Intimacy With Your Partner?
Is the state of your sex life a continual frustration? Are you and your partner struggling with intimacy due to low sexual desire, mismatched libidos, or physical challenges that make sex painful or difficult to sustain? Do you yearn to connect on a deeper level and experience the closeness and connection you’ve been missing?
Perhaps the reasons you don’t have sex as much as you’d like are complicated. You or your partner may rarely be in the mood due to hectic lifestyles, physical restrictions, or issues with body image that cause self-consciousness. Or maybe unresolved sexual trauma or abuse in your past negatively affects your desire for intimacy.
A Lack Of Sexual Intimacy Or Desire Discrepancy Could Be Putting Strain On Your Relationship
Because it can be awkward or embarrassing to bring up the subject of sex with your partner, maybe you aren’t talking about the challenges you’re facing. Instead of sharing concerns and expressing your needs, you might be keeping your frustration to yourself. When communication breaks down, it can create a snowball effect—unexpressed resentment can lead to more emotional distance, which, in turn, further limits sexual desire and intimate experiences.
There are physical, emotional, and mental aspects to sex that can make it a complicated issue to unravel alone. You may be dealing with guilt, shame, or anger that makes it difficult to see the problem clearly and find a mutually satisfying resolution. Regardless of what is causing your sexual relationship to wane, it can be hard to rectify the challenges you are experiencing without professional support.
Fortunately, therapy offers a safe space to address whatever obstacles may be preventing you from enjoying a fulfilling sex life. In counseling, a qualified sex therapist can help you identify the underlying causes of sexual dysfunction in your relationship and develop strategies that foster intimacy, vulnerability, and connection.
Experiencing Sexual Challenges Is More Common Than We May Realize
Although we often think we must be one of the rare few to experience sexual dissatisfaction or dysfunction, it’s pretty commonplace. Statistics gathered by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have determined that “Sexual arousal disorders, including Erectile Dysfunction (ED) in men and female sexual arousal disorder in women, are found in 10-20 percent of the population.” [1]
The underlying causes that impede sexual response are often complex and varied. The expression of our sexuality is influenced by every aspect of who we are, from our physiology to our emotions, beliefs, past experiences, and relationships. Any disruption we encounter—whether physical or emotional—can impact our level of desire, arousal, or satisfaction.
The External Influences We Are Exposed To Can Impact How We Feel About Sex
Not only is sex a highly personalized experience based on unique circumstances but external cultural norms often influence our feelings about it as well. Stigma and shame surrounding sexual expression may have been passed down to us via our families or communities that interfere with our perception. What’s more, the unrealistic imagery portrayed in pop culture and social media often causes us to have unrealistic expectations about sex or make unhealthy comparisons that leave us feeling inadequate.
As “sex-positive” as today’s culture claims to be, there are pockets of society that are still woefully behind in instilling a healthy viewpoint, especially in our youth. For example, a lack of comprehensive sex education in our schools that omits any discussion of consent leaves future generations unprepared to avoid the circumstances that often lead to sexual trauma.
Rather than allowing shame, embarrassment, or a fear of judgment to prevent you from getting the support you need, you should consider the benefits of sex therapy. Partnering with a sex therapist offers you expertise, education, and tailored strategies to address your challenges effectively.
Therapy Is An Opportunity To Overcome The Obstacles Preventing You From Enjoying A Satisfying Sex Life
It can be intimidating to seek sexual guidance from an outsider. After all, sex is a deeply personal subject you might not be accustomed to talking about openly. By providing a compassionate, nonjudgmental space where you’re encouraged to speak frankly and freely, I aim to make you feel as comfortable and safe in therapy sessions as possible.
My role is to empower you on your journey toward achieving a fulfilling sex life while prioritizing emotional and relational well-being. By addressing the underlying factors that contribute to sexual dissatisfaction and/or dysfunction, the long-term goals of sex therapy will be to improve sexual function, enhance satisfaction, and foster healthier communication and intimacy in your relationship.
What To Expect In Sessions
Sessions can be attended individually or with your partner. Depending on what your challenges are, I might provide you with psychoeducation to ensure you understand how your thoughts and feelings can impact sexual response or introduce behavioral interventions focused on increasing intimacy.
Because sexual dysfunction—generally experienced as ED in men and sexual arousal disorder or vaginismus in women—can stem from either physical ailments or psychological issues, we must first identify its underlying cause. Ruling out medical conditions will help guide proper treatment. Additionally, if sexual trauma impairs your ability or desire for intimacy, I will lay out a trauma-informed treatment plan that addresses emotional regulation, trauma processing, self-esteem, self-care, goal setting, and safety planning.
In sex therapy, you can:
Explore and express concerns openly and free from judgment;
Gain self-awareness about thoughts, feelings, and patterns related to sexuality;
Identify and address underlying psychological, relational, or contextual factors that impact sexual response;
Learn practical skills, techniques, and exercises to improve sexual functioning;
Enhance communication, assertiveness, and intimacy within your relationship;
Overcome the limiting beliefs, fears, and insecurities you may have about sex.
How Sex Therapy Can Help You
In sex counseling for couples, you will acquire tangible skills and strategies to address your concerns. Examples include:
Cognitive restructuring to challenge negative thoughts that impact your beliefs about sex;
Sensate focus exercises to increase body awareness and foster intimacy;
Communication techniques that help you express needs more clearly and assertively;
Mindfulness and relaxation exercises for anxiety reduction;
Sensory and arousal awareness to understand pleasure and enhance sexual response experiences.
These practical tools empower you to improve sexual functioning in both body and mind, thereby fostering healthier experiences and relationships.
With proper support, there is hope for overcoming your challenges. Sexual counseling offers you understanding, personalized strategies, and guidance. Applying your newfound knowledge and strategies gained in sessions will help boost your confidence and sense of control in sexual situations. This allows you to experience positive changes in your intimate relationships, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying sex life.
But Maybe You’re Not Sure If Sex Therapy Is Right For You…
Can sexuality counseling help us if we each have different sex drives?
Although mismatched sexual desire with your partner may seem like an insurmountable issue, it’s not. In integrative couples and sex therapy, we will discuss healthy ways you can reach a compromise that feels good to both of you based on what you’re willing to give and receive. However, the sooner you come to sex therapy to address your concerns, the more likely it is you can avoid any pent-up anger, resentment, or shame complicating the matter.
The idea of going to sexual counseling is embarrassing.
Understandably, the stigmas surrounding sex or concerns about being judged may give you pause to seek therapy. However, it's important to know that getting support when needed is a courageous and responsible step towards improving your well-being. In sex therapy, you will be met with empathy, understanding, and a nonjudgmental approach. Your therapist is there to provide support and guidance without judgment and anything discussed in sessions will remain confidential.
Is it worth attending sexual intimacy counseling if my partner doesn’t want to come?
While partner participation can be beneficial, it is not always necessary for sex therapy to be successful. Individual counseling and treatment can address personal concerns—such as sexual trauma, female orgasmic disorder treatment, vaginismus or erectile dysfunction— and provide valuable insights and strategies. What’s more, your therapist can work with you to explore ways to communicate your desires for counseling with your partner. Ultimately, the goal is to support you in your journey towards sexual well-being, regardless of your partner's participation.
Getting A Handle On Your Sex Life Opens Up New Possibilities to Experience Pleasure
Whether you prefer individual or couples counseling, the first step in experiencing more sexual gratification starts here. To find out more about sex therapy with Cushing Counseling, visit my contact page or call 703-475-2119 to schedule a free 15-minute call.
[1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11122954/#:
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